I have often wondered how incredibly successful escorts have dealt with their body image. I have struggled with trying to find a healthy balance between what I can maintain and what I can work towards. Looking through rentboy ads in New York or LA is maddening but sometimes I know I am attractive, I am a gainfully employed sex worker but is that knowledge ever good enough to sate our insecurities?
As I write this I have found a place next to the escalators at vendor mart for IML (international Mr Leather). As I watch this procession of seemly perfect bodies I can’t help but feel a little flabby. I am not sure I will ever be 190lb of pure muscle at 5’8 but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to look like a beefcake. I found myself sucking in my stomach or keeping my abs flexed while my shirt was off and I don’t like that allow myself to be that insecure.
Read his full essay here.
Be sure to check Chris out on Rentboy.com!
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